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May 28, 2011 / MojosWork

Super Dinosaur #2

Raiting: 3/5

Synopsis: Max Maximus throws a temper tantrum before remembering his ace in the hole: Project X. He later gets a visit from Tricerachops, who reveals her employer to be The Exile. The mysterious newcomer proclaims a new world of dino-men is on the horizon, despite the fact that he seems to have an entirely human body (completely covered from head to toe). As they leave Maximus, the villain tosses a tracer onto The Exile’s cloak, which gets picked up back at the Dynamo Dome. Apparently, Max never bothered to create his own tech after he and the Dynamos split up. Derek and SD follow the beacon to the Arctic and meet The Exile themselves. Good thing the Kingstons – Dynamo Dome’s resident mechanics – just happened to finish designing some Arctic attack gear.

Writer: Robert Kirkman

Artist: Jason Howard

Cover Price: $2.99

It’s funny. A lot of writers, particularly those at the “Big Two,” pen their tales with an eye to collect the single issues into larger trade paperbacks. When it comes to Robert Kirkman, who is quickly building an unheard-of-for-a-solo-creator multimedia empire, I think he writes with an eye to make cool toys. The people behind the Filmation He-Man cartoon pretty much did the same. Masters of the Universe was a thirty-minute commercial for Mattel action figures. It worked then and it’s probably going to work now.

The only difference is that in ten, fifteen, forty years, when I find a beat-to-shit Stealth Ninja Super Dinosaur with Nunchuk-Spinning Action in the attic, going back and re-reading the books that inspired the toys probably won’t be torture. (Have you ever tried to go back and watch an old He-Man episode? Let’s just say they haven’t aged gracefully.) I haven’t been blown away by any of the three issues released thus far (including the Origin Special), but I trust Kirkman enough to see through the rocky infancy of this title.

Granted, the toy talk is currently a fantasy, but is there any question that Kirkman’s multimedia empire will inevitably reach Toys ‘R Us endcaps across the continent? (Does Mexico have Toys ‘R Us?) Even if he wasn’t collaborating with Todd McFarlane on other projects, there’s no doubt Kirkman’s Super Dinosaur will get the plastic and vinyl treatment someday. The Arctic Attack version in Super Dinosaur #2is just as cool as Jason Howard’s original design, maybe better, since it’s a sweet mash-up of between a T-rex (duh!) and G.I. Joe’s Firefly. The only potential snafu I can see is some Kenner executive saying, “Well, why is he always grabbing his balls with those little T-rex arms?”

Ice Cold Shrinkage Super Dinosaur, with testes-gripping action!

I wish the other characters had as much attention paid to their respective designs, though. The dino-men are mostly naked humanoids in Under Armor shorts and gravity defying pieces of… metal? shoulder pads? dispersed around their bodies. Oh, there’s the one guy, a terradactyl, who wears Oakleys.

New character The Exile, with a pretty lame design. I guess I'm already spoiled by Howard's creation of the SD armor.

Like I said, the story isn’t blowing me away right now, but the title character is carrying the weight of the book on his charisma alone. What’s Super gonna say next? What will SD wear next issue? I feel like I’m a soccer mom thumbing through Us Weekly at the grocery store  check out.

That said, I will be happy as a clam and remain a faithful reader if we get the following Super Dinosaur costumes/suits:

  1. Waverunner Super Dinosaur with Jet Ski Action: SD’s robot suit transforms around him to become a PWC (personal water craft, to all you landlocked suckers). The toy’s Jet Ski Action will consist of pulling it back to wind the wheels. Let it go and watch it zip across the floor!
  2. Surf Dude Super Dinosaur: Just a pair of Hawaiian print board shorts, sunglasses and a sick longboard. With missiles. That the initials “SD” work with “Super Dinosaur” and “Surf Dude” is a bonus.
  3. Guerilla Warfare Super Dinosaur with Camouflage Stealth: The standard Super Dinosaur uniform comes in army fatigue colors, machetes that spring from the wrists (like Deadpool in that horrid Wolverine movie, only better). Spray some water on the action figure and his skin adopts the army fatigue look, too!
  4. Interstellar Super Dinosaur: Super Dinosaur in a spacesuit, with a pair of hotdoggin’ rocket boots.
  5. BBQ Super Dinosaur with Jaw-Snapping Vice Clutch: Give our hero a bib. This toy will have a spring-loaded jasw that snaps at the press of a button on his back. It will also come with a picnic table and Max Maximus’ human arm!
  6. Secret Agent Super Dinosaur with Spy Laser: SD in a tux! The action figure version shines a laser from his wrist watch!
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